(no subject)

[onehundredbeers]

[The call transfers to voicemail.]


Hi, this is Nathan Explosion of Dethklok. I can't come to the phone now, I'm probably in a concert... playing golf... you know, something where I wouldn't have a fucking phone with me. Leave a message and I'll call you back, jackoff.

Comments

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to PICKLES at eleven-seventeen PM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Pickles
FROM: Nathan

pickles

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to PICKLES at eleven-seventeen PM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Pickles
FROM: Nathan

PICKLES

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to PICKLES at eleven-seventeen PM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Pickles
FROM: Nathan

BATLE AXES

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to CHARLES OFDENSEN at eleven-seventeen PM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Charles Ofdensen
FROM: Nathan

hey charls
i may need to go to the hospial
so please stop ignoring me

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to CHARLES OFDENSEN at eleven-seventeen PM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Charles Ofdensen
FROM: Nathan

im kind of just hanging out
in a pool of my own blood

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to TOKI at eleven-seventeen PM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Toki
FROM: Nathan

i admit it
im kind of scared toki
its been 14 days and i cant go home

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to TOKI at eleven-seventeen PM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Toki
FROM: Nathan

some fking dress wearing homo can
but i cant
and now im fucking bleeind becauz of him

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to TOKI at eleven-seventeen PM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Toki
FROM: Nathan

i jsut
i really want tog o hom
and if you tell anony i will fucking kkill you

[collector]

[Braxiatel's in his office on his percomm, which is why there's the quiet ticktock of a clock in the background.]

Nathan? Thank you very much for your kind invitation. I'd be delighted to attend.

[onehundredbeers]

[From all the sounds, it seems Nathan is in the living room and someone is listening to the news.]

Really? Oh man that's- that's great. That's great, Irving.

[Muffled sounds of someone else talking, then Nathan holding the phone away]

No, it isn't anyone you know. No! You can't have the phone! Go back to fucking playing video games, jesus christ.

Sorry about that. So, uhhhhhhhh... it'd probably be best if I called you like, a few hours before show time, huh?

[collector]

[He politely ignores the Dethklok antics.] Yes, and then meet me on the Plane so you can pull me through? Oh, I haven't asked her yet, but could Benny come along? I think she'd have fun.

[onehundredbeers]

They're your tickets, you can do whatever you want with them. But, uh, yeah, that's... what I'll do. It sounds pretty fucking simple. I mean, I haven't tried it? But fuck, you know, I can do it. Hands down. I can do that shit.

[collector]

[Nathan amuses Brax so much.] I have every confidence in your abilities.

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan chuckles lightly.]

Are you being fucking sarcastic? I totally think you are. Man, just for that, I'm gonna like. Try to just pull one of your arms over and then you'll be all 'oh no, my lack of faith in Nathan was totally justified, I am now sans an arm!'

And then you'd bleed to death, but I'd be all smug and shit knowing I did it on purpose and you'd die thinking you were right when no. No, you totally aren't.

[collector]

[WAY TO GO, Braxiatel is now chuckling about bleeding to death.] At least I'd be able to die smug. I'd find it very distressing to die thinking I was wrong.

[collector]

[Braxiatel sounds... a little bit bored.]

Nathan, Bernice has wandered into a bizarre clockwork maze or labyrinth on the Plane. Would you mind coming along to help me bring her back?

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan answers his phone from somewhere.]

Irving, wha...?

Uhhhhhhh... okay, I guess? I'm not doing fucking anything else, so, uh.

[collector]

Meet me on the Plane outside the library.

[And he hangs up. Always good to have Nathan in the party!]

[oliverplus]

[there is a bit of hesitation and throat-clearing before an obviously-nervous Oliver starts to speak] Hey, uh...Nathan? It's Oliver. Just wanted to thank you! You know, for all your help with...the watch thing. [pauses, not sure what to say] That was, you know...well, thanks. Sorry about...all that. You know I--I mean, I didn't mean any of that. [pauses again] Really. I'm...sorry about that.

But, uh, I got your letter! Well, obviously, since I've got your number, but...uh...yeah. Thanks for the concert tickets! That'd be fantastic, getting to see your band! I mean, if the concert hasn't already happened. And if you don't...well... [a long pause] If...you know, unless something's changed. With. The concert.

Uh, anyway, give me a call? Oh, and...is this pain waiver thing for real?

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan calls back!

There's the sound of, well, Murderface's slushy lisp in the background.]

-'re you calling? Isch it schomeone I know?

Hey, Oliver.

Who'sch Oliver?

[NATHAN IS POINTEDLY IGNORING MURDERFACE.]

Got your message! Murderface almost fucking deleted it.

[oliverplus]

[still sounds like a deer in headlights. how can Nathan sound so...calm? so normal!]

Hey, Nathan! Uh...yeah. Have I missed the concert?

[it's the easiest thing to ask about]

[onehundredbeers]

No, there's still like... a week until that. We're getting ready to fly over in a day or so, you know, drop Pickles off at his brother's house. Get shit set up. Get fucking hammered.

[Nathan pauses.]

Hey, uh, you doing okay now, man?

[oliverplus]

Oh, great! Could I still... [pauses, uncertain] Well, could I still come to it?

[after Nathan's question, he, if possible, sounds even more uncomfortable] Yeah. The watch is gone. I'm not...like that anymore. So...thanks. You know, for your help.

[onehundredbeers]

That's, uh, that's good. Then. 'cause, uh, you were being a dick. But it was- it was that thing. Soooo... [Nathan's awkwardness regarding it most certainly isn't helping, is it, Oliver?

It helps almost as much as his awkward stumbling back to stuff about the concert.]

And yeah, you can still come. I mean... why, uh, why wouldn't you? Not still be able to. I mean.

[oliverplus]

[they can be terribly awkward together!] Yeah, uh... I didn't mean any of that. I mean...not that I thought you would've thought...I mean, obviously... Yeah. [okay, that's too awkward. moving on!]

So! Uh...I don't know. Just thought I'd ask. I mean, I still want to go! But hey, that pain waiver thing--do you really need that?