[there is a bit of hesitation and throat-clearing before an obviously-nervous Oliver starts to speak] Hey, uh...Nathan? It's Oliver. Just wanted to thank you! You know, for all your help with...the watch thing. [pauses, not sure what to say] That was, you know...well, thanks. Sorry about...all that. You know I--I mean, I didn't mean any of that. [pauses again] Really. I'm...sorry about that.

But, uh, I got your letter! Well, obviously, since I've got your number, but...uh...yeah. Thanks for the concert tickets! That'd be fantastic, getting to see your band! I mean, if the concert hasn't already happened. And if you don't...well... [a long pause] If...you know, unless something's changed. With. The concert.

Uh, anyway, give me a call? Oh, and...is this pain waiver thing for real?

[Nathan calls back!

There's the sound of, well, Murderface's slushy lisp in the background.]

-'re you calling? Isch it schomeone I know?

Hey, Oliver.

Who'sch Oliver?

[NATHAN IS POINTEDLY IGNORING MURDERFACE.]

Got your message! Murderface almost fucking deleted it.

[still sounds like a deer in headlights. how can Nathan sound so...calm? so normal!]

Hey, Nathan! Uh...yeah. Have I missed the concert?

[it's the easiest thing to ask about]

No, there's still like... a week until that. We're getting ready to fly over in a day or so, you know, drop Pickles off at his brother's house. Get shit set up. Get fucking hammered.

[Nathan pauses.]

Hey, uh, you doing okay now, man?

Oh, great! Could I still... [pauses, uncertain] Well, could I still come to it?

[after Nathan's question, he, if possible, sounds even more uncomfortable] Yeah. The watch is gone. I'm not...like that anymore. So...thanks. You know, for your help.

That's, uh, that's good. Then. 'cause, uh, you were being a dick. But it was- it was that thing. Soooo... [Nathan's awkwardness regarding it most certainly isn't helping, is it, Oliver?

It helps almost as much as his awkward stumbling back to stuff about the concert.]

And yeah, you can still come. I mean... why, uh, why wouldn't you? Not still be able to. I mean.

[they can be terribly awkward together!] Yeah, uh... I didn't mean any of that. I mean...not that I thought you would've thought...I mean, obviously... Yeah. [okay, that's too awkward. moving on!]

So! Uh...I don't know. Just thought I'd ask. I mean, I still want to go! But hey, that pain waiver thing--do you really need that?

Edited 2011-03-27 02:24 pm (UTC)

Yeah, we do. Charles says so, you know? And he knows that shit. He wrote it up so we wouldn't get in trouble if anything happens. Like... if it rained blood. [He pauses.] Okay, raining blood isn't lethal, but it's gross and who knows what the fuck is in that blood, you know? Euuugh. It would totally suck to get like. HIV. From blood rain.

[you can't see it, but he's raising an eyebrow] Does it do that often?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh... sometimes?

Oh. [pauses] Do people die a lot at your concerts?

Uuuuuuusually? But it's not like it's our fault. It's not like we're like, summoning tornados and earthquakes and maple syrup floods. It's- it's a lot of bad luck. But, uh, so far on the whole tour? Death numbers have been pretty low.

[A beat.]

Except for the earthquake in Egypt. But that fucking almost killed us too. Fucking rocks and stuff falling on stage, I totally saw my life flash before my eyes. Totally thought I was going to die.

[quickly] Oh, I know! 'Course it isn't.

But uh...maybe...I don't know, maybe I could hear you play somewhere else? I mean, I'd really like to go, but... [pauses awkwardly. he was hoping he could make it up to Nathan by going to his concert, but he doesn't really want to die to do it]

[Nathan's confused.]

Huh? What, do you not like Australia or something?

No, it's not that! I just...uh... Well. I wasn't really planning to get, like, dismembered. Or killed. This week.

[He's quiet for a few moments, before replying in a calm, and even tone which doesn't really last.]

What you're saying is that you won't be going to any concert, because you're too concerned about what might happen. No, I get it, it's fine, yeah, totally cool.

[Terrible lies. He is actually disappointed.]

Doesn't fucking matter to me.

No, I... [sighs. this was exactly what he didn't want to do] Look, I'll go. [and hope the Doctor can come up with something that will reduce his chances of not making it back]

Hey, hey, no, it's cool. If you don't want to go, that's- that's fine. No skin off my nose.

[He sniffs.]

Besides, uh, I'd hate to feel bad about your sorry ass being dead. [He laughs, and it sounds a bit forced, but whatever he is trying to move on from things here.] I have better things to do than worry, you know? Like... get a burger. Tacos. Something.

It's not... [frowns, frustrated. he wishes he could do something to make this up to Nathan, but what?]

[tentatively] Well, maybe we could meet up anyway and do something like that? The Doctor probably knows the best place to get burgers in all of time and space! Or tacos, if you want.

[Nathan laughs.]

I don't think the Doctor could even begin to fucking afford my tastes, Oliver. Let's just- let's just say when I get burgers? One of them costs around 500 bucks. Kobe beef, foie gras, and then just the fucking size. I have, uh, expensive tastes.

[Expensive as in his other favourite food is cool ranch doritos. Don't judge him.]

[is silent for a moment] ...oh.

But I'm sure he could come up with something you'd want to see or--or eat, or something!

[Nathan is very spoiled. What with his 100k a week allowance.]

I guess.

[He doesn't sound too convinced.]

Anyway, it doesn't matter, don't worry about it, alright? It was pretty fucking dumb of me to extend the offer anyway, I know what goes on at my fucking shows. Kinda.

[now Oliver's the one who's disappointed. and he still feels bad]

No, it's not like that! I mean...I'd still like to hear your band. Have you got CDs or something?

Yeah. They sound a bit different from live shows, though. On older albums, I edited Murderface out. Newer ones, Knubbler did it at my order. And all the guitars are Skwisgaar. Usually.

Well, hey, at least I'd still hear you!