(no subject)

[onehundredbeers]

[The call transfers to voicemail.]


Hi, this is Nathan Explosion of Dethklok. I can't come to the phone now, I'm probably in a concert... playing golf... you know, something where I wouldn't have a fucking phone with me. Leave a message and I'll call you back, jackoff.

Comments

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan's failed call is returned, and in the time eating way the Dethphones are designed, it leaves him a voicemail instead of a nice little 'you fail' message.]

We are sorry, but your call to CHARLES OFDENSEN at four-forty AM could not be placed.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.

Thank you for choosing Dethklok Dethphone Service for all your cellular, texting, and general phoning needs!

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but your call to PICKLES at four-forty two AM could not be placed.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.

Thank you for choosing Dethklok Dethphone Service for all your cellular, texting, and general phoning needs!

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but your call to TOKI at four-forty three AM could not be placed.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.

Thank you for choosing Dethklok Dethphone Service for all your cellular, texting, and general phoning needs!

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but your call to SKWISGAAR at four-forty five AM could not be placed.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.

Thank you for choosing Dethklok Dethphone Service for all your cellular, texting, and general phoning needs!

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but your call to MURDERFACE at four-fifty eight AM could not be placed.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.

Thank you for choosing Dethklok Dethphone Service for all your cellular, texting, and general phoning needs!

[onehundredbeers]

[Nathan tries again to reach others with his phone, this time, texting. And again in the time eating way of the Dethphones, it sends all the texts back to him.]

We are sorry, but the following text to CHARLES OFDENSEN at two-fourteen AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Charles Ofdensen
FROM: Nathan

hye uh you nd to come and getme
im stck in sapce and uh
i cant get out

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to CHARLES OFDENSEN at two-fourteen AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Charles Ofdensen
FROM: Nathan


sreriously ofdenson

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to CHARLES OFDENSEN at two-fifteen AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Charles Ofdensen
FROM: Nathan

im stuk. in space. COME GET ME

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to CHARLES OFDENSEN at two-nineteen AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Charles Ofdensen
FROM: Nathan

ugh i fuking hatd th4s 7hone it says you anret getting these

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to CHARLES OFDENSEN at two-twenty seven AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Charles Ofdensen
FROM: Nathan

areyou screening my cxalls?????/

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to CHARLES OFDENSEN at two-twenty seven AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Charles Ofdensen
FROM: Nathan

dont be a fucki ng dick and call meback alredy

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to PICKLES at two-twenty eight AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Pickles
FROM: Nathan

hey uh pikcles i need some help
i am kind of
stuck
and its in space

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to PICKLES at two-twenty eight AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Pickles
FROM: Nathan

and i jst thohht youd uh know wat to do

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to PICKLES at two-twenty nine AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Pickles
FROM: Nathan

offdensn is ignoing my calls and tdxtsand i cant get aohld
of anyond

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to PICKLES at two-twenty nine AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Pickles
FROM: Nathan

pickles come on

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to TOKI at two-twenty nine AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Toki
FROM: Nathan

toki ive got a problem

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to TOKI at two-thirty one AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Toki
FROM: Nathan

oky so i don t think you can help but no one s answering my calls
or my texts
so i justg thought mayeb yuoud answer

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to PICKLES at two-thirty one AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Pickles
FROM: Nathan

is your phone off??

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to TOKI at two-thirty one AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Toki
FROM: Nathan

and your not

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to SKWISGAAR at two-thirty two AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Skwisgaar
FROM: Nathan

skwsgr can you tell them to stop IGNORIGN ME????

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to TOKI at two-thirty two AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Toki
FROM: Nathan

great
thanks toki
thnks a whol fucking lot

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to SKWISGAAR at two-thirty two AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Skwisgaar
FROM: Nathan

its fucking bullshigt

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to SKWISGAAR at two-thirty two AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Skwisgaar
FROM: Nathan

ugh

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to SKWISGAAR at two-thirty two AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Skwisgaar
FROM: Nathan

fuck you gtoo

[onehundredbeers]

We are sorry, but the following text to TOKI at two-thirty three AM could not be sent.

The number you selected is out of service at this time.



TO: Toki
FROM: Nathan

lastg ime i go to you for help
fuckin useless